The Truth About Hedo
Many people book a trip to Hedo with a pretty good idea of what happens there, but when it comes down to it, they still have questions about what to expect. Just how “wild” is it? What is allowed, what is inappropriate, what sort of people will you meet, do you HAVE to get naked?
First of all, understand that Hedo changes atmosphere with the groups that attend. You may go one time and find everyone is wild and crazy and another time, it’s relatively calm. There are of course “lifestyle” weeks where the resorts are predominantly booked by swingers, but “lifestylers” can be found there all year long and anything can happen any time of the year.
This may intimidate some people. Lets look at it this way: if the word “lifestyle” is defined as “the typical way of life of an individual, group, or culture” then “alternative lifestyle” is simply living differently from the typical cultural expectations of society.
Would your typical neighbor, co-worker, or relative go to Hedo? Maybe yes in some cases (probably more often than you realize) but most often, no. Just as going to Hedo is something we don’t share with EVERYONE as we realize that most people will never go there and may be judgmental if they found out we did.
Are nudist lifestylers? Well, nudism is a lifestyle that is different from the mainstream culture. And while nudists can also be swingers just as you may find swingers in all walks of life, the primary difference is that nudist resorts typically strictly prohibit any sexual atmosphere within their resorts.
This is not the case at Hedo. In fact, at any time you may see explicit sexual behavior, though it is often (but not always) limited to late or dark hours, and generally in the hot tub/nude areas. Sexuality is a major part of the atmosphere at Hedo with sexy dress (often referred to as club wear or slut wear) and even fetish wear – leather, bondage, etc. You will also see women dressed in lingerie for dinner, something you would never see at a standard nudist resort!
So, now you are wondering, what is expected of me/us if we are there and everyone is doing the “wild thing” all around us? The answer is NOTHING. First of all, do not expect a sexual frenzy of activity. It simply isn’t that crazy – well, not most of the time! Most of the sexual activity you may (or may not) notice is more discreet unless you are there during noted “lifestyle” weeks, when people are apt to be more open.
One of the most important and respected “rules” in the lifestyle is that “no means NO”. Most people who live within the lifestyle have certain expectations and standards. For example, no overt touching or groping without knowing you have that person’s permission. In some cases, that may mean that someone will actually ask if they can touch a woman’s breast! Though even that isn’t that common. Some couple MAY approach you and ask if you want to “party” (or get together for sex) though most will do so in casual conversation after they get to know you as most prefer to know something about you before they are interested in knowing you intimately.
Again, no means no. Your choice to not participate will generally be respected – and if it isn’t, then you probably don’t want to spend much of your vacation with that person anyway!
Not everyone is a “wife swapper” (generally known as full swap these days), which leads us to the concept of “soft swingers”. This is basically doing anything sexual within a group, up to but not including penetration. Some people simply enjoy being exhibitionists. Some are voyeurs. Some like to flirt with other couples and may enjoy touching, kissing, but that’s their limit. Others may include oral sex, but no penetration. Some just enjoy having sex with another couple having sex next to them, watching each other.
You may go to Hedo and just want to watch from the sidelines and feel the sexual excitement and let it awaken your own desires and go back to your room together and alone, or you may get there and decide you want to experience it first hand. How do you go about getting involved?
Make sure that whatever you decide to do, or NOT to do, that you talk it over with your partner beforehand. Decide what your limits are between the two of you – what you are ok with and what you do not want to happen, and then stick to those limits. NEVER change your limits in the heat of the moment. There is always another day, another time. At least go back to your rooms and cool off and talk it over. The most important thing is the two of you and that you are happy and having fun. Never lose sight of that!
Finally, do NOT allow any of this to stop you from having fun, to keep you from being relaxed or to prohibit you from meeting people and making new friends. Probably the large majority of people you will meet at Hedo are not “swingers” (or at least do not consider themselves swingers) and are most often no different from yourselves. They are there to experience the atmosphere, be nude and generally have a wildly erotic week with their own partner. If you do meet another couple that is perhaps more experienced or more active than yourselves within this lifestyle, don’t let that stop you from getting to know them and spend time with them. Just like everyone else, they want to meet all sorts of people, make new friends, and have fun. Swingers’ ideas of fun are not limited only to sex, but they have the same fun that everyone else does and enjoy the same things that you do.
What’s a Vinnie?
You know that singles are allowed at Hedo. "Vinnie's" and "Wally's" are the single men you see there. It's not usually considered a complimentary nickname. However, some of the single men are really great guys and can be lots of fun. You'll find many of the single men hanging out together as the week goes on.
As far as I know, there isn't a nickname for the single women – probably because there aren't too many of them there! Compared to the number of couples, there really aren't all that many single men there most of the time.
Unfortunately, some are there thinking this is the sex feast of a lifetime. I remember sitting with a group of single men in the hot tub once. They were pretty unhappy with how things were working out. It seems at least one of them had been told by their travel agent that this was a dream of a lifetime trip for a single guy with sex and women everywhere! I felt bad for them being misled.
Some of them come there with that attitude and may be a bit of a bother to couples, thus they've earned these nicknames. Others are experienced and realize they aren't there just to be sought after and laid by every couple (or the few single women) that is there, and they just relax and have fun realizing that's not the primary goal of being there. In fact, a large majority of couples don't expect that either.
Some single guys are wonderful and just like everyone else there just want to experience the atmosphere, make some new friends and have a great vacation!
Men…our advice is to not let your partner be out of your sight. This applies to the resort grounds itself as well as when you start to mingle with other people. Whenever you are in a new environment, especially one that is as sexually charged as this, don’t let her walk out of your sight, unless she is with someone else that you know and trust. Hedo is generally a safe place, however, you never know who may go there and who may be a jerk to an unescorted woman. Though I have to say that any woman who might be approached in a rather unfriendly or aggressive manner and raises an alarm will not only be overwhelmed by protectors who will come to her aide, but I pity the man who was so foolish in his advances once a group of women get a hold of him. If nothing else, the rest of his trip will be ruined, as his reputation will spread quickly!
Nude or Prude?
Well, you’re going to Hedo and maybe you’ve never been naked or even topless in public before. What are the rules and expectations?
First within the main areas of the resort – the dining areas, disco, lobby, etc, you must be clothed. Now, that may be limited to a thong and a couple of pasties, lingerie, or completely sheer and see through and still be acceptable. Expect to find a lot more nudity however on toga night and PJ night.
Then, there is the prude side. Here the women may be topless, but both sexes must be covered on the bottom and most women are just going to wear their sexy swimsuits. For many it takes a day or so to work up the nerve to venture over to the nude side. For some, it only takes a few minutes!
At Hedo 3 you have the "Quad Area" which is clothing "optional". The Quad is a beautiful area of hotel rooms in a large square around a large pool with a swim up bar, hot tub and upper deck above the bar. Frequently there is overflow there from the nude side which is a bit small and can get crowded. The "rules" here are just what the name implies – you will see some totally nude, other's topless, and other's fully clothed. The Quad is generally quieter, but no rules are hard and fast at Hedo so you might see things get wild in the Quad as well.
Finally, the reason you all really wanted to go to Hedo (it is, isn’t it?) is the nude side. At Hedo 2 the beach is a public beach so they are a bit more liberal about walking through with your clothes on as people from other resorts may walk through while hiking along the beach. MOST of them chose not to if they are offended by nudity, so don’t give that another thought. However, once you pick a spot to relax, you are expected to get undressed. Women may again keep their bottoms on, but must take their tops off and men must completely undress. At Hedo 3, which has a private beach, you are expected to undress before you enter the nude side and there are guards there from the resort to enforce that rule.
Almost everyone is afraid of this the first time. Believe me – it takes all of 5 minutes to get use to it!!! You soon realize that hardly anyone is paying attention to you! Don’t be insulted either. Most people will eventually notice almost everyone as they walk through, but it isn’t a sexual parade and you don’t feel like you are on display. People are actually talking, laughing, drinking or even sunning and having a good time. As a rule, more attention is paid to everyone at dinner when everyone is dressed again, but perhaps in revealing, provocative, and sensual clothes.
What if I’m not Perfect?
So? Who is?
You will meet all types of people at Hedo – all sizes, shapes, races, and ethnicities. I’ve seen people with scars and disfigurements, paraplegics in wheelchairs and braces, amputees, women who’ve had mastectomies, and no one pays any more attention to them than to discreetly admire them for their self esteem and then go back to their drinks and conversations among themselves. I once read a description about the type of people you’ll see at Hedo that said to imagine yourself in the grocery store and everyone that you’d see there is naked – that’s the sort of crowd you’ll see at Hedo. Young, old, pretty, not so pretty – everything except kids!
You will probably meet the friendliest, most outgoing, most un-prejudiced people you’ve ever met in your life. So relax, be friendly, talk to others, and take home the experience of a lifetime in your memories and you’ll probably be among the people who go back to experience Hedo many, many times in the years to come.
For more information about Hedo, read "The Naked Truth About Hedonism II" By Chris Santilli
Click here to find out how to get this book!